Last Saturday, I was at the home of a friend of mine. Call her the Hostess. The reason for the visit was to meet with Melissa Dinwiddie. She’s an artist, musician, and creative consultant. I was there to attend a workshop Melissa was giving on how to encourage creativity.
About a half-hour into the workshop there’s a bathroom break. I go to the bathroom on the second floor. On the way down, I slipped on the staircase and fell down about half a story. If this had been one of those old silent movies, or an action-adventure film, I’m sure this would have looked comical — on film. In reality, when I got to the bottom of the stairwell I was screaming. Everyone rushed over to help me. I was in so much pain that it took me a minute or so before I recovered enough composure to make sure I could still move my legs.
Fortunately, another one of the guests at the workshop was a physician. Let’s call her the Doctor. She tended to my immediate needs (“No! Do not try to get up!”, cold packs, hot packs, etc.). While I was still lying on the floor, I requested that Melissa start the workshop again. It was important to me at that moment that my accident did not steal the focus of why the others were there.
The Doctor remained at my side. Eventually I was able to stand, walk to a chair, and participate in the workshop again. However, I was still in pain. The Doctor told me that, at minimum, I’d sprained my lower back and bruised my coccyx. I chose to try to drive back home that evening. I was OK for the first part of the drive, but towards the end it got really painful.
Unfortunately, since then I’ve not gotten better. My lower back aches more, and the coccyx pain reasserts itself if I either stand or sit for too long (even with pillows). I’m only pain-free if I’m lying down. Ibuprofen (which I’m not supposed to take) and naproxen (which the Doctor told me would do nothing) don’t work.
So I’ve spent most of the past two days lying in my sofa and watching TV. I have an appointment to see a back specialist this Thursday morning. I can hold out until then. Fortunately, they’re being very understanding at work. So that’s one-half this post’s title.
What about the other half? As I was sitting on the floor, the Doctor start massaging my lower back to relieve the muscle tension. The Hostess joined her. The Hostess and the Doctor are very attractive women, whom I’ve known for years. If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I’ve thought about them rubbing my back before, though not under these circumstances.
So I hereby give Melissa a pull quote for her workshop: “I attended Melissa Dinwiddie’s workshop, and my fantasy came true!”
 By now it’s obvious that I’m concealing some names to protect their privacy. You may speculate on their identities if you wish. It’s OK to ask, “Hostess Who?”
 Yes, there’s a pun in there somewhere.
 “Rubbing my back” sounds like a euphemism. It actually means that my fantasies are rather dull.
 Your mileage may vary.