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After working for a few days on my review of Divinity Original Sin II, it occurred to me that I’ve written lots of video-game “semi-reviews’.

I call them “semi-reviews” because I generally review a game long after it’s been released. My opinion of the game becomes almost irrelevant.

Then again, given the size and nature of my blog, even if I reviewed brand-new games, the reviews would still be almost irrelevant.

The thought made me look over my list of games I’ve written about. I was surprised to see that I’ve written about a hundred of them, or at least managed to preserve that many in various incarnations of my blog over the years.

It’s a large enough list that I can start forming sub-sets. Here’s my list of my least-favorite games, in increasing order of my dislike for them. Note that, when there was a choice, I always played on the easiest available game difficulty.

In case it’s not clear, the underlined game titles are links to my semi-reviews.

Number 5:
Divinity Original Sin II

It’s the blog post just before this one. TL;DR: Tedious and frustrating combat, overly complex game system, uninspired story.

Number 4:
Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy

Frustrating, chaotic real-time combat; buggy.

Number 3:
Jedi: Fallen Order

I hate games focused on platforming, especially when that’s not made clear before I purchase the game. The difficulty of this game’s platforming challenges drove me to tears. The combat on easy difficulty still required fast reflexes. The story was predictable. The 3D maps were confusing, plus you had to visit most of them more than once.

Number 2:
Batman: Arkham Knight

This had the distinction of being the game I disliked the most until my number 1 pick was published.

Like my number 3 and number 1 choices, this game was ruined by platforming. In particular, it was the Batmobile that destroyed the game. It turned the experience into both a platformer and a racing game. I don’t like either genre.

I couldn’t finish the game, because the storyline was blocked by a Batmobile platforming challenge that I could not get through. I finally watched someone else play the game on YouTube instead.

If I say that something was “Batmobiled”, I’m referring to this game.

Number 1:
Lord of the Rings: Gollum

Poor graphics, poor story design, bad platforming, and buggy.

Like my number 2 choice, I could not finish the game. This time it was because there a game bug that could not be readily fixed by falling back to an earlier save. Again, I watched the ending on YouTube.

Dishonorable mentions

• Final Fantasy XV – a story that was both misogynistic and hard to follow.
• Obduction – puzzles that were way too difficult for my tiny brain.
• Final Fantasy X – a confusing skill system, the game punishes combat failure harshly, and late-game combats require a hint book.
• Lord of the Rings: War in the North – a dull RPG that seemed to have LotR lore slapped on.

How about my favorite games?

I’ll save that for my next blog post.